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 Jack, Kelly, and Sharon Osbourne
Sony Studios, New York City, 5/15/02
Photo by Glenn Emerstone, © 2002 NY Rock
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America's favorite dysfunctional family bared all in a mini conference to announce the release of The Osbourne Family Album. On a living-room set (with Ozzy via a screen monitor), wife Sharon and kids Kelly and Jack Osbourne took on the media – and the press had a field day.
What NY Rock learned:
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Press: | Is Jack gay?
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Jack: | No, but I want to be on the cover of High Times magazine someday.
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Press: |
What about Ted Nugent's remark that the [Osbourne's MTV] show is an embarrassment to all things metal!
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Sharon: | I'll cut off his dick. He should go back to the sausage factory!
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Press: |
Has Madonna contacted you about your version of "Papa Don't Preach" [featured on the upcoming album]?
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Kelly: | No
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Sharon: | Ozzy wants to fuck Madonna
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Ozzy: | She's too old!
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 The Osbournes at Sony Studios, NYC, 5/15/02
Photo by Glenn Emerstone, © 2002 NY Rock
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Sharon was queen of the court to Ozzy's jester as she discussed the Epic Records release due in stores June 11, 2002. The album will include songs by Osbourne daughter Kelly, the Kinks, System of a Down, and the Cars. Other gems include John Lennon's "Imagine" and a take on Ozzy's "Crazy Train" by Pat Boone.
Watching the English-American family go at it was like watching the Partridge Family and the Munsters high on stale beer and cheap weed – big on frills but nasty on hangovers. Their current smash show on MTV may be a tasteless soap opera, but it is also a brilliant and honest take on the American dream. Spoiled, overfed teens overseen by an aging millionaire acid casualty and his mommy-wife. You get the picture. A laugh from start to finish.
If you can break from the tube this summer, check out this year's Ozzfest with System of a Down, Rob Zombie, P.O.D., Zakk Wylde's Black Label Society and, of course, Ozzy. Be sure to bring your middle finger plaster caster (for the communal five-times-an-hour raise) and enough testosterone to scream your ass off for ten hours straight. The Ozzfest will hit PNC Bank Arts Center, New Jersey, July 17, 2002.
Track listing for The Osbourne Family Album:
- Pat Boone - "Crazy Train"
- Ozzy Osbourne - "Dreamer"
- Kelly Osbourne - "Papa Don't Preach"
- The Kinks - "You Really Got Me"
- System of a Down - "Snowblind"
- John Lennon - "Imagine"
- The Cars - "Drive"
- Starsailor - "Good Souls"
- Dillusion - "Mirror Image"
- Eric Clapton - "Wonderful Tonight"
- Ozzy Osbourne - "Mama, I'm Coming Home"
- Ozzy Osbourne - "Crazy Train"
- Chevelle - "Family System"
May 2002
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