December 2000

Bush wins. Gore loses. What me worry. Hey, instead of being a big poop about the whole thing, let's get behind our new man in the White House. So what if he's an idiot, alcoholic redneck. He's the Chief, by golly, and I think we should show our support, for starters, by playing a little game.

Let us hark back to that fateful night when Gore retracted his concession. During the conversation, Gore said that Bush was "snippy" – to which Bush responded that he didn't know what the word "snippy" means.

To help the Prez-Elect, we now publish our first installment of "The English Language: A Primer. A Multiple Choice Exercise for the Vocabulary-Challenged."

1. "Snippy" means:

A. A great-tasting chocolate bar
B. Curt and cold in tone
C. Who cares? We don't use that word down here in Texas

2. "Winning" means:

A. Not losing
B. Having a better set of lawyers
C. Who cares? Yippee, I'm president!

3. "Thinking" means:

A. Whoa, haven't done much of that lately
B. Something you're better off not doing for the next four years
C. Who cares? Yippee, I'm president!

Enough cyberbabble, onto this month's content...

• Cover story: Cyndi Lauper
• Interviews: Radiohead, Charlize Theron, Will Smith, System of a Down
• Concert Reviews: Marilyn Manson, Ani DiFranco, Alice Cooper, Moby, WC Handy All-stars
• CD Reviews: Offspring, Spice Girls, Slash, Less Than Jake, Type O Negative, L.E.S. Stitches, Tidewater Grain
• Music News: Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame Inductees, A Perfect Circle, Wyclef Jean, Bloodhound Gang
• Movie Reviews: The Grinch; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon